The other night I sat down with my friends to talk about whatever came up. We had no intended conversation, we rarely do. Eventually, the conversation turned towards what seemed to be the inevitable betrayal of Facebook. Now, obviously Facebook has benefited many people, companies, products, etc, in many ways. However, what we were focused on was what we felt was, the inevitable betrayal of Facebook.
I’m sure you’ve all heard about the Facebook breakup. I’m sure some of you (cough cough myself) have felt it. For those who are lucky enough to not know, I’m talking about being broken up with through Facebook. Have relationships really come to this? We can now end a relationship through the Internet? Unfortunately, for many, yes it has come to this. How has something so impersonal, a website, become so personal? It’s just another instance showing us how social media is changing the way we communicate as a society, as well as our ever changing societal norms.
After that tear filled conversation, yes some tears were shed, we kept talking about Facebook’s invasive behavior. Now this was just funny, but I think most people can relate. If you have ever been friends with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on Facebook, you may know what I’m talking about. Not only does Facebook supply a means to communicate with friends and family, but it’s also a way to creep (frequently observe their Facebook page) on your past, a.k.a any ex’s. I will admit, in the past I have creeped on my ex’s, and I’m 100% positive they have creeped on me. With that realization, one becomes self-conscious through their Facebook page! Crazy, but true. With the insecurity there is the constant editing and updated status’s that make you sound fun, carefree, and over it. The constant de-tagging of pictures to make sure you look good and make them know you’re having a good time without them, and constant insecurity!
Social media is extremely personal, yes. However, it has become such a means of communication that it really only makes sense it become as personal as our everyday, real life relationships. My only question and concern is, isn’t this too far?
I'm so glad you posted about this! We used to think breaking up via text message was low, but a break up on Facebook is even more cowardly. People will say things on the internet that they would never say in person, and this translates to actions. I mean, most people don't even consider their relationship official until it is deemed so by a change in Facebook status! It's a little scary how interlaced Facebook has become with our personal lives, including our relationships.....
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I wrote about Facebook in my blog as well. We have become addicted to Facebook and have made it a part of our lives. I've heard so many people say about relationships "if it's not on Facebook it's not official". How is a real relationship not official if it's not on a stupid website? I think that is just ridiculous. We have become so addicted and obsessed with what everyone is doing on Facebook that we almost lose touch with reality. I know my relationship with my boyfriend is official even if others don't. I think that it's come to the point where everyone needs to know what everyone else is doing, so it's a must to post every part of your relationship and life on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteAs the topic of my blog was social media and dating, I spent a lot of time looking into the "Facebook official" phenomenon as well as how Facebook breeds jealousy in relationships. I actually found one survey done at Georgetown University that found that 46.94% of students thought it was important to define one's relationship on Facebook . In my opinion, those 46% have not had to go through the humiliation of changing their relationship status and having all of their friends comment “I’m sorry to hear that” or “L”. I think that when anyone except your closest friends and family know the details of your relationship, beginning, continuing or ending, is an example of people letting Facebook too far into their private lives.
ReplyDeleteBreaking up with someone is extremely difficult in itself. Having that constant reminder on your news feed does not make it any better. I know a lot of couples who choose not to be 'Facebook official' and I can understand why they would want to keep things private, especially if the day ever came where the little pink broken heart came up on your feed saying "So and so is no longer 'in a relationship.'" Cue the onslaught of comments, phone calls, and tweets from your entire social circle. Traditionally, couples who recently split go through different stages to find closure and move on. In this social media age, the additional step of un-tagging and de-friending sits somewhere between the self-pity and resentment post-breakup stages. It's amazing how social media has affected societal norms and how our social media 'profile' has become unanimous to our physical selves.
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely an edge with social media that not everyone will like. While being able to share any private information online, it certainly does not stay private and virtually anyone can get their hands on it. This is especially true with "creeping" as you mentioned. People from your past can find out who and where you are now. This is true with future employers too who are looking at candidate's social media presence to find out more about them. With this great power, it requires great responsibility to ensure the information doesn't end up in the wrong hands.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely agree with your post. I have done the same thing. I have used Facebook and Twitter to creep out my ex-boyfriends. I have also been hurt by what people say on Facebook about me. People don't realize what they say and that it is open to the whole world. Social media has turned to dictating our lives and our relationships.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your post completely. Facebook is a fabulous tool but can be used in so many creepy and destructive ways. I've seen some incredibly hurtful things posted on others facebooks about me and ive certainly done my fair share of facebook stalking girls I don't like an ex boyfriends... and the only reason I do not feel more ashamed of my actions is because I know of the number of other people that have done the same thing as me! No matter how private our facebooks are, they are on the internet and they are open to public consumption. What people say can be hurtful and have serious repercussions and I am unsure if some realize that as they are posting certain things.
ReplyDeleteI think its funny how many people can relate to this topic. Like Chelsea, I have a saying that "It's not official until it's Facebook official". To me this is just a joke I use to pester my friends, but I realize that some people take Facebook way too seriously. Facebook is supposed to be a medium for sharing events that happen in your life, and the "Relationship Status" is meant to display information about yourself. It is NOT meant to create the information or provoke new relationships. I am obsessed with social media, yes, but I also know the difference between real life and the web.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your ex should join Second Life.
Your writing style is hilarious. I know exactly what you mean by the Facebook relationship, it's really a tough situation because it brings a whole new level of insecurity to the relationship. On one hand you can think, "he's going to think I'm insecure if I ask him to be FBO", but on the other hand, you can think, "Jesus, imagine if we have to break up, everyone will see". Facebook, we have to hand it to you, you made our already complicated lives... way more complicated.
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